23: Tea and NyQuil

I turned 23 yesterday, and that was my greeting to start my 24th year: tea and NyQuil.

I had just finished watching some Grey's Anatomy and was heading to bed and everything was, well, normal. I was alone, turned off the light, and crawled towards my pillow in darkness. Since there's no real reason to get out of bed in the mornings, I've gotten a lot of sleep lately, which, unfortunately makes going to sleep much more difficult. Those of you who know me well will know that I can fall asleep anytime and anywhere in just about five minutes. Not recently, which is a new phenomenon for me and rather frustrating, because it leaves me alone with my mind.

So the night of the 25th, what was there to think about? Oh, the usual, that my husband was at war in Iraq and that the other side of the bed was and would be cold for the next couple of months, and that there was nobody else in the house. That I have no job and am continuing to get bored with the little projects I've made for myself. But then there was the fact that the next day was my birthday. I didn't want it to be my birthday, because the person I wanted to celebrate it with wouldn't be there. No matter how badly I wanted him there, he wouldn't be there. And people would be calling me, wishing me happy birthday, and I wouldn't have the heart to tell them that it wasn't a happy birthday, and that I wish I had just slept through the whole day because there was nothing I wanted to celebrate.

Somewhere along the line, these thoughts got to me and I started crying. I'm not a big crier, but when I do cry, it's usually just a few tears and then the moment is gone. Not tonight. Tonight the pain just grew and grew, as did my tears. My nose got clogged, my throat was sore from trying to extricate my pain by using my vocal chords, and from the heavy breathing. I kept on turning in bed waiting to go to sleep, but my system had just had too much.

After about half an hour of this, my heart just couldn't take it anymore; it couldn't be alone. I got out of bed and went to the computer to try to Skype my mom. Well, that failed, but she heard enough to be able to call my cell phone. I don't think she could understand me for the first five minutes or so, but over the next half hour she was able to calm me down. She was sitting in the Admiral's Club in Dallas with my grandma on her way to Guatemala. Thank goodness she wasn't on the plane or already there, because that would have just hurt too much to finally reach out to someone and have them not be there.

At the end of our...conversation, she told me to go have some tea, and that it would be okay to take something that would help me sleep. I laughed at that, and the clock struck midnight as I started to heat the water for my tea and grab the NyQuil from the medicine cabinet. What a great way to start my birthday.

Mom had to catch her plane, so I asked her to call Sarah (my aunt) and ask if she could give me a call. Sarah called and we were able to chat for a little; my darling little cousin piped into the phone that he loved me and that made me smile. I was able to talk to my uncle for a bit too, which I haven't done in a while, and it was just good to hear from a whole family who loved me.

So, I finished my tea, took my NyQuil, and went to bed.

The next morning was fine. Not good, but fine. I got up late, did some yoga, ran for a mile (still experimenting with running since I'm unsure about my achilles), and had two very short phone calls with Matt that got cut off shortly after the hello. I also met my new neighbor. The couple that lives downstairs hadn't been there since we had been here because he is in Iraq and she was state-side. She got back on my birthday, and, because she didn't have a car, I took her with me to the Commissary so she could get some food and cleaning supplies to put her house back together.

For dinner, Krista came over and we made filet mignon wrapped in bacon (Veronica would have been there too but she was traveling with her sister). You can see a picture of it below, topped with a yummy butter concoction, served with a basil parmesan rice and a dry red wine. Very nice! She also showered me with many lovely gifts, my favorites of which are the first season of Friends (never seen it before!) and an orchid! It'll be my first plant. I'm excited to see if I can actually keep it alive and get it to re-bloom. Such a beautiful flower.



We ended the evening by making some brownies from my grandma's recipe and watching The Count of Monte Cristo.

So, how was my birthday? It was okay. But this year, I shouldn't think of my birthday as just one day, simply because I got to experience bits of it on other days as well. When Jonathan visited me he brought me a little something from my parents. Just last week I got a package in the mail from the Melone family containing lovely letters from them all, making me feel so special that my new family cares for me and remembers my birthday. Esther made a beautiful watercolor of our wedding and sent that to me a few days ago, and so many people emailed, sent cards/letters, and sent messages on facebook. Krista did a wonderful job of making me feel special.

Though my birthday may have started out rather...terrible, I have no doubt that I am loved. I know that I feel pain because I love and am loved in return, and that is wonderful. I also know that the pain isn't going to go away, and I will hurt again. And it's okay to hurt, and it's okay that knowing that doesn't make it hurt less. But the important thing is that I am loved. Thanks for keeping track of me during this journey and keeping us in your prayers. They are indeed appreciated.

Second and Third Visitors!

Apparently some of the pictures I tried to upload on my last post actually got on, but since I didn't see them, I couldn't put captions on them. If you check them out again you'll see that I've told you what they are.

This post will be full of pictures because I have had ample opportunity to use my camera over the last couple of weeks. In fact, I'm going to do a lot less talking here and let my pictures tell the stories. Yay for a lazy post! But first, let me update you about Matt.


Matt

There has been a lot of angst, frustration and joy over the last three weeks, but the good news is that we have ended on "joy." Matt was in Kuwait for a few days where he got to sit around, then he was sent to Baghdad where he got to sit around and work out, and then was sent to Mosul where he got to sit around and work out. I'm sure he did more than that, but that was the general jist of how things were going...until his unit arrived.

When his unit got there, since they didn't know what they wanted to do with him, they put him with the Headquarters company. While with them he did a lot of office work, which he didn't expect, so that was frustrating.

But the joyful part? Just yesterday he got assigned to a company and a platoon. He's uber excited to have something to do and to finally have a weapon. This is what he's been training for over the past three years. It is going to be more dangerous for him now because he'll be going on operations (don't ask what that means because I don't really know), so pray that he stays safe, that he is given the chance to show how great of a leader he is, and that he is able to enjoy his time there as much as possible.

On a more personal note, I just want to say that I have the most amazing husband. We get to email or talk almost every day, and I can't even tell you the wonderful things he says. He knows exactly the right thing to say at exactly the right moment and it just makes me love him all the more. God certainly did match us up well!


The Troxels

My time with the Troxels was great. We got to make egg-in-the-eye (yummy breakfast consisting of a fried egg cooked into the middle of a piece of bread with a hole in the middle). Their daughter Bea (short for Beatrice) has a love for cameras so I lent her the camera/lenses my parents and brothers gave me for graduation, and she just went to town. The first three here are hers.

This is Lori, my professor/friend from Vanderbilt, and Bea's mom

Bea's self-portrait


A shot she took while we were at lunch. I found a little worm in my salad...after I had finished eating it.


THIS is the infamous Spaghetti Eis (Eis = ice cream!). It may look like a typical plate of spaghetti, but it's actually ice cream with strawberry sauce. The white stuff is grated white chocolate. Ooh, so good.

Munich

Jonathan decided to come and visit me for a couple of weeks, and he and I went to Munich this past weekend to meet up with his girlfriend Jessica and two friends from his community back in San Francisco, the Wiesens. The first two stops in Munich? The Beer Museum and the largest beer hall in Germany.

This was taken inside the beer museum. These are old-school steins, and I so wish I could find some like these. The ones we can buy these days are just too decorative for me.


Jonathan, Jessica and I inside the beer hall. Isn't she cute?


Marienplatz. We think this gigantic building used to be the old town hall. Absolutely beautiful!


Just a statue in the middle of the square. Good photo-op.


We never figured out which church was. My guess was the Frauenkirche, but I wouldn't bet on it. The church was massive, and this was just the front. The color really was that good that day, no saturation needed.

Neuschwanstein Castle- a.k.a Cinderella's Castle

From Munich the five of us decided to take a day-trip down to Neuschwanstein Castle. This is the castle that inspired Disney's Cinderella's Castle. As you can see from the pictures, it's not your standard castle, but very mystical and, well, kinda pointless other than being majestic/impressive/beautiful. I'm sure it could be defended well, but it wasn't built for that purpose. King Ludwig, the guy who owned the place, grew up not a mile from this castle (seen below in some other pictures). But, he went kinda crazy and wanted to build a bigger and better castle than his parents.

The quick and dirty version of the story: Ludwig was a huge fan of Wagner, and we think that he really liked Wagner. Because of that, most of the rooms in the castle are the visual representation of some of Wagner's songs. To prove that Ludwig was crazy, there is a room in the castle that looks like a cave. It's not one of the lower rooms and it wasn't dug out of rock; someone was called in to design the room right next to his dressing room to look exactly like a cave, with stalactites and everything. Right next to that was his Zhen garden. Anyway, I'll stop talking and get back to the visual tour.

There is a pretty steep 1.5 mile hike to the castle, and this shot is from the road we walked up. Anybody thinking Cinderella?

A cool shot of the ceiling right after the cave room. No pictures were actually allowed of the inside, but hey, it looked cool and it was light enough to take the picture quickly and without a flash.

This is one of the many gorgeous views from the castle. At the bottom right you can see his parents' castle. I'd say he kinda out-did them.

There is a bridge that you can hike to that will give you t his view of the castle. From here you can see part of the castle and another of its amazing views. I cropped the castle because the rest of it was under construction from this vantage point.Me on the bridge! You can see the construction that was going on.

Back in Munich

The next day the Wiesens left Munich to go travel the rest of Europe and Jonathan, Jessica and I went to a museum called the Alte Pinakotek. I really enjoyed all of the paintings they had, but the most picture-worthy thing was the building itself. I just loved this stairwell. When I walked into it the first time, I just stared at it and thought "wow."

The "wow" stairwell in the Alte Pinakotek


After the museum, we went to hang out at a park. There was a river running through the park, and there were guys surfing in it. Way cool.

Well, that is my last two weeks in picture form! What you can't see is that Jonathan and I have made lots of food together. Most of it has been yummy Indian curry, but we've also made cookies, pancakes and banana-bread muffins. He's been great to have around, even if he does like to steal my internet. He's taken me out to eat a couple of times, and last night he took me out for my birthday, and then to see The Black Knight. Very good movie.

Since he leaves tomorrow morning, I thought I was going to be all alone, but I just got an email from the Wiesens asking if they could spend the night here tomorrow night (the third visitors, in case you weren't tracking).

And for now, that's it!